The Tabernacle, Sara Thompson, and The Bible
The preacher came to my house and demanded that I go to the church camp. My dad, but wait I never had a dad, but that is not important, my dad was a bible thumper who never questioned the preacher. I had never gone to church much, I never saw the need for it, in fact one of my other brothers would have been better suited to go to church camp but he wanted me to go, was saying something about my souls and saving them from something or another. It never made much sense until…..well now, but I’ll get to that, anyway my brother Lance and I went to this church camp in the southern part of Oklahoma.
I don’t remember it being this hot, and I remember having longer hair. Things are like that now, all the things I remember are different, it is like I am watching everything happen all over again and the things are the same but different. Well not everything, take Sara for example. Here I’ll show you, see there I am in the Tabernacle,
I should be wearing shorts and a tank top but I’m not, yet she is the same. Look at her, so beautiful. Long onyx hair, with olive skin and emerald eyes sitting in the choir behind the preacher. Even now as I watch it I can’t hear what he is saying, because somewhere between thou shalt not steal and thou shalt not lie she has me captivated. Oh wait yeah, hey look here it is the moment when she melted me in this heat. See look any moment now she is going to take her left hand and move her hair behind her ears, look up and make eye contact with me and smile. This is my favorite part of this memory, I swear I’d gladly devour a barrel of apples if she was Eve. Look at me, it is like looking at the moon in the night sky and suddenly realizing there are stars.
See the moment passes, no matter how many times I come to this moment time keeps moving forward. This is my fifth time here and every time it is the same, well not exactly the same, I look different each time but basically it is the same. I never saw her again the rest of the week, just that one time in the Tabernacle.
It is not just that one night in the Tabernacle I remember, it is other things from week. And what was the preacher saying?
Author Notes :
This is still part of a larger story but this is my take on the Sita and Rama seeing eachother for the first time.
Narayan, R. K. A Shortened Modern Prose Version of the Indian Epic. London: Penguin Classics, 2006.
Picture Attributions
Picture 1
By Amandajm (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons
Picture 2
"Harvard University Academic Hoods" by Joe Hall - http://www.flickr.com/photos/joebeone/537546224/. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Harvard_University_Academic_Hoods.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Harvard_University_Academic_Hoods.jpg
Picture 3
"SPACInterior" by UpstateNYer - Own work. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:SPACInterior.jpg#mediaviewer/File:SPACInterior.jpg
Picture 4
Created By Prairie Kittin Persephone, Goddess of Spring Created for Marcus Ranum Challenge #70
License https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/
Wow! Your story is truly phenomenal. I loved how you gave it a modern-day feel, yet described with such intense detail all the things Rama may have been feeling. It was well done, and writing the story in first person made it that much more powerful! Also, you added extra pictures which helped illustrate the story even further. I am thoroughly impressed and I’m definitely looking forward to reading more of your pieces.
ReplyDeleteThis was certainly an intriguing read. I'm interested to see where the rest of this story leads. Admittedly, I had some trouble following what was going on here. The information is a little all over the place, but I suppose it will appear less haphazard as the rest of the story takes shape. Keep it up, man. I and others will be reading!
ReplyDeleteThis way an extremely intriguing way to go about the retelling of this story. I do like the modernization of it all but at points it was a bit hard to follow. The first person telling however does increase the strength of the story in my opinion. The pictures also helped to visual the setting that you discussed and the view the boy would have had up to the stage.
ReplyDeleteThis was definitely an interesting take on the way Rama would have felt after seeing Sita for the first time. I like how scattered the story is, how nothing really makes sense; honestly, when you remember significant moments of your life, that's how it seems. Certain details stand out in stark clarity, while everything else kind of fades and varies in the retelling.
ReplyDeleteThe feelings and descriptions depicted here were so enthralling, so enrapturing, that it really made the story. Plus the modernization helped to make the tale easier to follow and relate to. Fantastic job!
Wow, I am really impressed by how you wrote this story. It was interesting because of the modern twist you put on it. I think my favorite aspects of the story were the detailed descriptions of feeling throughout the story. I think it adds to the diversity in the story. I have to agree with others though, some parts were a little confusing but thats okay. Only you are supposed to understand your own writing because it is your feelings, not ours. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteYeah I agree with you guys about the jumbled way the story comes across, and that is by design. Another reason for some of the confusion is that this is part of a series.
ReplyDelete