Scent of a Woman?
“Hey wake up!” the voice said as I felt a palm lightly tap my cheek three times. “Joe, wake up!” it was my brother Lance.
I must have been overheated and passed out. That would explain why I am on the floor. I hate this feeling, it is like a thousand needle pricks all over my body. As I open my eyes the light rushes in and assaults my pupils. I can see my brother Lance standing over me asking me “What happened,” over and over again. It takes me a second for everything to come back to me and then I tell him, “I was getting a drink of water and then I don’t know, I must have passed out or something.”
“Are you ok?”
“Yeah, help me up, oh man I just had the weirdest dream…” he stops me.
“Hey, your wife is in your office.”
I think to myself, “What is he talking about I don’t have a wife?” As my hands brush down my face to remove the grogginess from my body I feel a cold piece of metal graze across my skin. I hold my left hand in front of my face and extend my fingers to see a gold band wrapped around my ring finger. With my thumb I begin to play with the wedding band, it is a familiar and natural feeling, like I playing with it is something I have done for years though I am unable to figure out why I am wearing this ring. I have never been married.
This all feels like a joke that in my mind I agree to play along with for the moment. I feel dizzy again and my brother is quick to sit me down in a chair. My brother tells me he will be right back and leaves me in the room alone. This must be what it feels like to have your brain melt like cheddar between two slices of Texas toast. I close my eyes in hopes of gaining some form of timeout from the abuse my eyes are suffering from the sun. Images of monkeys, bears, and blood begin to flood my mind, and even though I know this is just some weird side effect from passing out, these images feel like memories. Memories of things that haven’t happened yet.
Memories of things that haven’t happened yet. I hear the door to the kitchen open again, it must be Lance coming back to get me, though his footsteps sound lighter on the tile floor as he walks to the sink and turns the water faucet on and off. There is scent that possesses the room that was absent before the door opened, I feel a cold towel against my forehead, what is that scent. I know I have never smelled it before though for some reason it feels extremely familiar. “What is that smell?”
“You know what it is; I have told you the name before. It’s Illusion by Louis Cardin”
I open my eyes and see a woman I have never met before. Her name is Mary. I don’t know why I know her name, but for some reason I just know her name is Mary. The scent intrudes further into my body forcing its way into my lungs. It is not crisp and clean like a scent you would find in nature. It is an intoxicating lust manufactured from synthetic elements; it has an unnatural feeling about it. “Should I kiss your boo boo and make it feel better?”
This all feels like a joke that in my mind I agree to play along with for the moment. I feel dizzy again and my brother is quick to sit me down in a chair. My brother tells me he will be right back and leaves me in the room alone. This must be what it feels like to have your brain melt like cheddar between two slices of Texas toast. I close my eyes in hopes of gaining some form of timeout from the abuse my eyes are suffering from the sun. Images of monkeys, bears, and blood begin to flood my mind, and even though I know this is just some weird side effect from passing out, these images feel like memories. Memories of things that haven’t happened yet.
Memories of things that haven’t happened yet. I hear the door to the kitchen open again, it must be Lance coming back to get me, though his footsteps sound lighter on the tile floor as he walks to the sink and turns the water faucet on and off. There is scent that possesses the room that was absent before the door opened, I feel a cold towel against my forehead, what is that scent. I know I have never smelled it before though for some reason it feels extremely familiar. “What is that smell?”
“You know what it is; I have told you the name before. It’s Illusion by Louis Cardin”
I open my eyes and see a woman I have never met before. Her name is Mary. I don’t know why I know her name, but for some reason I just know her name is Mary. The scent intrudes further into my body forcing its way into my lungs. It is not crisp and clean like a scent you would find in nature. It is an intoxicating lust manufactured from synthetic elements; it has an unnatural feeling about it. “Should I kiss your boo boo and make it feel better?”
“No….no need for that.” I hold my hand up allowing the sunlight to reflect off the gold ban on my left hand. The reflection of the light is insulting to her eyes.
“You sure about that?” She is a beautiful woman. Perfection embodied within her flesh. Her clothes are expensive and they hug her curves perfectly, too perfectly. There is no wrinkle to be found on her skirt or her blouse. The fabric from her blouse hangs off her shoulders the same way it would if it were dressing a mannequin. “I mean there is married and happily married.”
She catches me off guard with her flirtation. She is masterful in her overcoming my objections by diverting my responses. When I tell her that I am married, she asks if I am happy, when I say I am ok she just laughs it off and counters my response with softening of her eyes and a flick of her hair. She is perfect, from the way she smells, her clothes, and the distance between her eyes. She is the canon of beauty....
...yet her lack of imperfections casts a shadow of ugliness over her. I fain dizziness again in hopes of achieving and end to her advances, but I am unsuccessful.
“You’re probably just hungry. How bout I take you to lunch?”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t my wife is waiting in my office for me.”
“Oh, if she is a secure woman she won’t mind if I steal you away from her for a while.”
“You sure about that?” She is a beautiful woman. Perfection embodied within her flesh. Her clothes are expensive and they hug her curves perfectly, too perfectly. There is no wrinkle to be found on her skirt or her blouse. The fabric from her blouse hangs off her shoulders the same way it would if it were dressing a mannequin. “I mean there is married and happily married.”
She catches me off guard with her flirtation. She is masterful in her overcoming my objections by diverting my responses. When I tell her that I am married, she asks if I am happy, when I say I am ok she just laughs it off and counters my response with softening of her eyes and a flick of her hair. She is perfect, from the way she smells, her clothes, and the distance between her eyes. She is the canon of beauty....
...yet her lack of imperfections casts a shadow of ugliness over her. I fain dizziness again in hopes of achieving and end to her advances, but I am unsuccessful.
“You’re probably just hungry. How bout I take you to lunch?”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t my wife is waiting in my office for me.”
“Oh, if she is a secure woman she won’t mind if I steal you away from her for a while.”
“I’m sure she would.”
“Well if it is that big of an issue she can join us, I don’t mind sharing you with her.” She attempts to laugh it off as if it was a joke, but she continues to study my face for a sign that would give her an opening to continue to press on.
“I really just don’t feel good.”
“You heard him Mary, he doesn’t feel good, now leave him alone.” My brother had slipped into the room unnoticed and had been listening to the entire conversation.
“Well if it is that big of an issue she can join us, I don’t mind sharing you with her.” She attempts to laugh it off as if it was a joke, but she continues to study my face for a sign that would give her an opening to continue to press on.
“I really just don’t feel good.”
“You heard him Mary, he doesn’t feel good, now leave him alone.” My brother had slipped into the room unnoticed and had been listening to the entire conversation.
“Shut up Lance he is a big boy. I am sure he doesn’t need you butting in.”
“Hey Mary why don’t you and your fake face, fake designer clothes, and fake personality get out of her and leave him alone.” My brother was more forceful than I would have been.
“Who do you think you are talking to, don’t you know who I am? No one talks to me that way and gets away with it!” There is an uncomfortable silence in the room for a moment then Mary looks at me and her soft features turn to rage as she stands up and storms out of the room.
“Hey calm down Mary. Don’t huff and puff too hard or your blow your nose job off!” Though I feel bad about it, I couldn’t help but laugh at my brother. He asks me if I am feeling better and I tell him that I am as I stand up to walk out of the room and head to my office to finally meet the woman I am married to, but before I open the door.........
Author's Notes
This is a retelling of the temptation of Rama by Ravana'a sister. Obviously I could not have his brother chop off her nose so that is why the comment of about her nose falling off at the end was put in there. I wanted her to be beautiful but also fake in every way from her scent to her looks she is unnatural.
Attributions
Pic 1 : By Johann Carl Loth [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Pic 2 : "Wedding rings" by Jeff Belmonte from Cuiabá, Brazil - Flickr. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons-http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Wedding_rings.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Wedding_rings.jpg
Pic 3 : "Wat phra keaw ramayana fresco" by unknown, photo by "Thaths" - http://www.flickr.com/photos/34816987@N00/1392410389. Licensed under Public domain via Wikimedia Commons
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Wat_phra_keaw_ramayana_fresco.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Wat_phra_keaw_ramayana_fresco.jpg
Pic 4 : "Louis Cardin Illusion" by Ahmer82 - Own work. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Louis_Cardin_Illusion.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Louis_Cardin_Illusion.jpg
Pic 5 : By Patrick Doheny (originally posted to Flickr as French Maid) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Pic 6 : „Mona Lisa detail eyes“. Lizenziert unter Public domain über Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mona_Lisa_detail_eyes.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Mona_Lisa_detail_eyes.jpg
“Who do you think you are talking to, don’t you know who I am? No one talks to me that way and gets away with it!” There is an uncomfortable silence in the room for a moment then Mary looks at me and her soft features turn to rage as she stands up and storms out of the room.
“Hey calm down Mary. Don’t huff and puff too hard or your blow your nose job off!” Though I feel bad about it, I couldn’t help but laugh at my brother. He asks me if I am feeling better and I tell him that I am as I stand up to walk out of the room and head to my office to finally meet the woman I am married to, but before I open the door.........
Author's Notes
This is a retelling of the temptation of Rama by Ravana'a sister. Obviously I could not have his brother chop off her nose so that is why the comment of about her nose falling off at the end was put in there. I wanted her to be beautiful but also fake in every way from her scent to her looks she is unnatural.
Attributions
Pic 1 : By Johann Carl Loth [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Pic 2 : "Wedding rings" by Jeff Belmonte from Cuiabá, Brazil - Flickr. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons-http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Wedding_rings.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Wedding_rings.jpg
Pic 3 : "Wat phra keaw ramayana fresco" by unknown, photo by "Thaths" - http://www.flickr.com/photos/34816987@N00/1392410389. Licensed under Public domain via Wikimedia Commons
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Wat_phra_keaw_ramayana_fresco.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Wat_phra_keaw_ramayana_fresco.jpg
Pic 4 : "Louis Cardin Illusion" by Ahmer82 - Own work. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Louis_Cardin_Illusion.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Louis_Cardin_Illusion.jpg
Pic 5 : By Patrick Doheny (originally posted to Flickr as French Maid) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Pic 6 : „Mona Lisa detail eyes“. Lizenziert unter Public domain über Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mona_Lisa_detail_eyes.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Mona_Lisa_detail_eyes.jpg
Joe,
ReplyDeleteYour story definitely ended on a cliff-hanger. I had to go back and read it a couple of times cause I wasn't sure what was going on. I was confused about the entire marriage/dream and the ring and also where this happened. Were they in a kitchen or in an office?
When Mary became involved in the story I figured that you were retelling Sita and Ravana or Rama and Shurpanka's stories about temptation and it would end with the significant other overhearing and being appreciative that the other person didn't cheat. But your story ended A LOT differently than I imagined!
Not in a bad way at all. I enjoyed all the plot twists and the comebacks to Mary and the main character's thoughts and imagery were very well detailed!
Good job on the re-telling and the author's note definitely helped clear things up.
I think this is a great story. I like that you completely changed the context of the original and modernized the story. I also love the imagery and analogies that you used throughout the story, especially the one about the melting cheese between two pieces of toast. I also like your portrayal of Mary and how her perfections almost ruin her external beauty. The ending really left me wanting more, I just want to know what happens with the characters. I think for next week you should continue the story and share with us how it ends.
ReplyDeleteit will be, all my storytelling posts are part of one story, so this is just I guess one chapter in the story.
DeleteHey Joe. First off, I think the idea of each storytelling assignment being a continuation of the last is great. You've definitely sucked me in. Your retelling of Rama's temptation was good, though admittedly it took me a while before I realized which part of the Ramayana you were retelling. When Lance came back into the room to shoo the girl away, it clicked. The line about the nose was great! Very clever. Keep up the good work! I'll be checking back in for the next installment.
ReplyDeleteHi Joe!
ReplyDeleteI loved your storytelling post for this week. I think it's awesome that it's all a continuing story. This is all so clever. It took me a minute to figure out which part of the Ramayana you were talking about but I figured it out when the brother came in and made Mary leave. I wanted to keep reading, I will definitely be looking for your storytelling post for next week!
Very good job! Keep it up!
Hey good morning man. Once again I truly enjoyed reading your rendition of the classic Indian tails. This one in particular caught me eye due the nature of the title, "The scent of a women?" I feel as though stating a question in the title is a fantastic way to attract potential readers. I hope you continue posting more stories; I’ve really enjoyed reading them.
ReplyDelete