Answering the Phone
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I really don't have much in common with people my age. I am 38, I am a server, I've never been married and I am a college student. Before you say "Plenty of older people are college students" please understand most of those people work there and I have literally been the oldest person in all of my classes since I started attending OU. Not to mention that I am in the English department and I am a man so I am a pretty small percentage of the pie.
Most of the friends I used to have are drug dealers, alcoholics, prisoners, or married people with careers so I really don't have any friends my own age that I have anything in common.I looked at my Facebook page and thought to myself "I literally haven't seen or talked to any of these people in years" I actually deactivated it. It just seemed so impersonal by nature. The only people I do have anything in common with are my professors and fellow students which presents itself with all kinds of issues.
The professors and I share our age and love of Literature, but they are my mentors so by nature a friendship with them is a bit inappropriate. The male students and I have a barrier because of age. And the female students, well that is a crazy issue in itself. No one wants to look like the "Creepy Old Dude." Even though everything is completely honorable the appearance is inappropriate, so it's not a good look and best to be avoided.
Now don't get me wrong. I love my life. I really do, I have an amazing son and though I am a 38 year old college student I have had a ton of fun along the way. All I am saying is that the hardest part for me about going to college is the social issue. I hunger for friendship. I am a social person, I love meeting people and going to dinner with friends. I love chatting with em on the phone throughout the day, and I love having fun. So this college experience for me has been something that I would not change, but with all the stress that we as students face with grades, one thing we may not ever look at is the friendship aspect of it.
Life truly is about sacrifice. It is amazing how many people I have had to leave in my past so that I can have a future. Right now I am in this kind of Friendship Limbo. Though I would love to make friends with people and begin to build real meaningful bonds that will last the rest of my life, it is one more thing that I have had to put on hold until I graduate from law school.
If I could pass along one piece of advice it would be to answer the phone. Life is hard enough without having people there to share in the misery of failure, the frustration of the struggle, and the elation of success. People will disappoint you, trust me I have made one friend at college, though I have had a few temporary friendships, but you can't allow the let down keep you from putting yourself out there with people. A connection to one another is required to get through all this craziness. As I said earlier, life is about sacrifice but you should never sacrifice the bonds that connect us to this life, so when one of those connections call, answer the phone.
Hey, Joe. So I'm sure you are probably getting tired of all my comments by now, but I am enamored with the way in which you delve into the honest truth of things without attempting to make the customary societal excuses. This post is just one more example of that blunt honesty.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that people seem to focus too much on one aspect of college. Those students who truly care about their academic career seem to lose sight of the social aspect of college, while those who came to enjoy the "college lifestyle" spend the majority of their time partying and creating superficial relationships. What is so wrong with wanting to have fun with someone while at the same time exploring a deeper connection? (And I don't mean a romantic connection, just a deeper understanding of the person you're with.) There are always going to be times when you need someone to either rant with, or laugh with, or cry with--no matter where we are, we should be trying to forge such friendships with those around us.
Personally, I'm a bit of an introvert so forming friendships and letting people in is always a little difficult for me to begin with. Granted, I don't have the age barrier to work against that you do, but still. Starting friendships should not be as hard as it is, especially with all of the online social tools at our disposal.
So, didn't mean to rant on there, but I totally understand and agree with where you are coming from. Another thought-provoking candid post!
No Jessica I enjoy your comments. I like to think of my posts as the starting point to a conversation so without comments from people I would be talking to myself. And with this comment you hit it right on the head. I think it is crazy that with all the tech that we have at our disposal to connect us we seem to have lost connections and I think that there is a real hunger out there for deeper connections. At the very least I can speak for myself and say that I do seek out people to bring into my life that offer those deeper bonds of friendship because I thing human connection is important. Don't worry about being an introvert some of the most interesting people I have met in my life have always kept to themselves. There is nothing wrong with being lost in your own thoughts it happens to me all the time. On another note I stopped back by your storybook, I really think you should consider doing all the art for your storybook because I think it would be amazing. hope you have a great day.
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