Famous Last Words Part 2

Growth.....A poem for Emma (Revised 2014)


I wish this was a monster in the closet or goblin under her bed,
Or a dragon I could slay for my princess instead,
I’d be her knight in shining armor, Uncle Joe to the rescue,
I’d tell her not to worry, and then I’d know just what to do,

But those are the fairy tales we teach to our kids,
I am not prepared to discover the real monsters do exist,
The truth is,

It’s been a little over a year since she came into my life,
Everyday a blessing,
Now I watch her fight for more years to add to that life,
Everyday a real blessing,

The misery of a parent’s sorrow flows though my veins,
Multiplying, cell upon cell, as it eats away,
Poison that kills its only cure,
As the locks of sunny hair fall murdered to the floor,

Her father, my brother, the better half of me,
I watch. He holds back a dam of sadness,
God is good; God is great, praise the lord!
For he has saved me from the ability to intervene,

She smiles, she giggles, as I hold back my rage,
Miracles grin, they laugh, as they escape my grip,
These hands that can crush earth are of no use to me,

When I am alone, I sit at home, and remember,
Her second day at school, her second dance, her second this, her second that,
Seconds that will never happen without her firsts,

So I cry, I do, I cry, I shed the memories from my eyes,

Losing her is........ like losing my very own,
Since her first breath I’ve seen her grow,
Now I can’t look at her face because I’m too weak,
To her parents, I can’t speak the warm embrace that words can bring,

There is nothing I can do; I’m as useless as wishing on a star
Yet faithfully I still pray,
“Let me pay for my sins, take me instead, PLEASE! just let her stay,”

I’d gladly let the poison enter my body if it would set her free,
Vomit in buckets happily for her even if it put me in a box,
Lose all my hair and smile if she could keep her locks....have her first class, dance, this, that,
Beat this cancer for her; I’d do it for us both,
All for a princess without a growth….

Famous Last Words Part 1

I have always liked writing.

At the end of last semester I received an email from my Poetry Professor. This was one of the most horrible emails I had ever received. In the email the professor lobbed personal attacks towards me, and the worst part of all is that it was done under the guise of being an attempt to give me feedback. After reading the letter I have to be quite honest in saying that I almost decided to bring this professor to the board for her hate filled letter but, after conversations with other professors and students I decided to just let it go because sometimes it is best to turn the other cheek and move on. I don't wanna speak ill of anyone so that is all I will say about the letter.

The reason I brought it up was because the letter was not the first time someone in life has made cruel remarks towards me. My entire life I have always been the type of person that people either loved or hated. People that love me, really love me, and people that hate me, really hate me. There is no middle ground, and for some reason people always feel the need to express their dislike of me, to me in some form or another. Most times the hate is irrational and I actually understand it. I'm a big guy, with a loud voice, that talks with his hands, and is willing to argue a point, but I am not a malicious person. In fact I'm the type of person that when I do hurt someone's feelings, or anger someone it bothers me. At the same time even though these people do hate me I myself have no ill will to anyone. The reason I feel the need to express all this is because I know what it is like to be judged by people that have no idea about who I truly am and no nothing of my character.

I have always liked writing. It is the one place where I feel that I am given the fair chance to express myself without being judged on how I look, or the loudness of my voice. I love seeing people who know me read something I have put on paper and watching the look on their faces when they realize that I am a person with a warm heart, and that even though I walk like I own the world and am completely unaware of the plight of my fellow man, that in fact that is just a facade I put up. When I write I get to put my heart on to paper in poetry, show my empathy in my stories, and just finally be myself, which is the most crazy thing of all. It is in my writing where people can finally find me and discover who I am and yet they couldn't pick me out of a crowd.

So for the remainder of the semester my Famous last words will be some of my writing starting here in week 2 in part 2 of the famous last words with a poem....most weeks I will do a two part post, one will be the writing and part two will be a kind of chicken noodle soup for your soul type of thing about the writing. Enjoy part two.

Story Telling Week 2

Joshua Peavey Destroys the Universes

Carina Nebula From the Hubble Telescope wikipedia

Ever had one of those days that nothing makes sense, and then something happens and everything makes sense but nothing seems to make sense. I hate this place, there is nothing but empty space, and the birds, I should have listened to the birds. Now I got this rock under my foot, and a bunch of empty space to look at, just Joe and his empty space. I'm sorry, what was I saying, oh yeah the day. The day that the universes were destroyed leaving just this empty space. Empty space and Joe for the last sixty thousand years. Let's go back a little.

Picture of newborn uploaded by teadrinker web source flickr.com

No not that far...

Personal Photo from files

Okay that seems right.

It was a hot July day in Shawnee Oklahoma, and I was late for work. It was ok, I had been late most days since I started at the car lot a few months ago, although really time doesn't seem to hold the same meaning to me as it did once, but I'll get to that, anyway so I was pulling into the car lot and Jason was standing in his normal spot at the entrance. It seemed like that guy never moved. There were rumors that he was once a lady's man, but that must have been a long time ago because now he just looked like a he was sunburned flesh in a cheap suit and sunglasses. He never took off his sunglasses and come to think of it he never came inside. Rumor has it that he made Chad, the general manager, mad at him one day and every since he was forced to sit out in the sun to greet customers, though I have never heard him say a word.

After parking my car I walked into the showroom floor, it was a lucky day because Brian the sales manager was not in the building. Brian was an imposing guy, with a temper that was pretty short, most days he spent his time yelling threats about firing people rather than doing any actual managing. His brother Phil, the finance manager, though less imposing, was not much better with his people skills.

As I walked into my office and sat down at my desk the picture of a family hanging up on my wall fell. It didn't really matter to me that the picture fell except that now when I had a customer I couldn't use the picture of the family to relate to them.

Family Picture by pudgeefeet websource flickr.com

The family in the picture was not mine, I didn't have any family, but sometimes when I was sitting in my chair I would make up stories about the people in the picture. I used to pretend that the man in the photo was my dad and the woman was my step mom. I even named them and gave the three boys in the picture back stories. There was Bart, the oldest son from my dad's first marriage, and Kirk and Lance the two middle sons. Kirk and Lance were twins. I of course was my dad's bastard child from an affair he had with my mother so I didn't live with them. Trust me these little games I played in my mind helped me pass the time.

Around noon I left my office to go outside to have a smoke. This was part of my daily ritual, after my smoke I would usually go to lunch and then come back to work and try to find a car to take a nap in without anyone noticing. Later I would find out that having a strict ritual would have dire consequences, but for now I was unaware. Today my meditation was interrupted by a flock of birds.

Picture of a crow by minicooper93402 websource Flickr.com

These stupid birds, why didn't I listen to these stupid birds, they were telling me the entire time what not to do, but I wouldn't listen, they just sounded like a bunch of cawing to me. So much cawing that I just went back inside without finishing my smoke.

It had been hot outside so I went to the break room and grabbed a bottled water. It was Todd's water, I know this because it was clearly labeled as his with a note that read, "Do Not Drink," though I ignored it. I just untwisted the top and tilted the bottle up to quench my thirst. If Todd got upset I would just replace it. I may be a lot of things but I am not a thief, and apparently I was walking into the break room, no wait I was opening the refridgerator, was that me drinking Todd's water. What were the birds saying? Oh I hate this part this is where it all goes black. There I go, I pass out. Don't judge me, the human brain is not made to be flooded with all the knowledge of the universes in an instant. My brain was overloaded. I'm not even sure what happened, I only just now came back to my senses, well not just now but a few minutes ago, before you were just a rock but now you're here so just relax, and I will explain how Joshua Peavey destroyed the universes.

From Hubble Telescope owner Nasa websoure address https://www.flickr.com/photos/gsfc/4444869951/

Author's Notes: 

Ok so this story may seem like it is has nothing to do with the story we are reading and it may seem like a jumbled mess, but stay with me. This is the begining of a longer story that will tie into Indian Epics we are reading. Though you will have to read the entire story not just a part of it in order for it to make more sense but trust me if you stay with me hopefully the pay off will be worth the investment. I can no tell you much more without spoiling the ending but this was inspired by the week 2.

Bibliography
Narayan, R. K. A Shortened Modern Prose Version of the Indian Epic. London: Penguin Classics, 2006.

Reading Diary B week 1

Lakshmana is extremely loyal to Rama, though they are only half brothers

everyone keeps offering to kill themselves

the passage reminds me of jesus somewhat being tossed into the wilderness and being tempted to sin by satan.

mutilation of women that are not completely pure of heart.

Sita being stolen is another example of Gods acting like humans, though the gods seem to be prone to reacting to the extremes of their emotions, there is no middle ground they are either totally in love or they hate and want death. This could be the stories way of saying that it is better to be level headed and and do what your mind says to do rather than what your heart tells you. Another example of this is when Ramas father makes him leave.

Reading Diary Week 1

the king seems to be a kind ruler

the king seems to fear the sage, maybe because the sage although not the ruler is more powerful politically than the king

love was murdered? The god of love was killed by shiva another god for ruining his meditation, but was he killed or just turned to ash?

the desert acts as a mirror to the human soul or rather the effects that negative energy can have on a human beings soul. If a person is filled with hate and anger then their soul eventually becomes a desert, a place that no seed can take root and sprout. Basically if you have hate in your heart then there is no place for love to grow.

A woman in this society would be valued as a woman only as long as she remained pure, but once she was no longer pure (not sexually but pure hearted) she loses her womanhood.

The gods in this story seem to share the same plaine as the humans, though they have powers that are clearly supernatural, they are still mortal.

Rama is unknowingly vinsu, one of the three most important hindu gods.

The Ganga's Story shows an awareness that long after a person has passed on their presence on earth can still be seen, that everything we do gives us a sort of immortality.

Indra and ahalya sounds much like Zeus taking Hercules mother and almost the same as uther pendragon sleeping with Arthurs mother.

The task of stringing the bow is almost exactly like the story in the odessey.

lakshmana sounds like an authurian knight, much like the knights in the lancelot chronicles or any of the original authurian legends.

rama is available almost a jesus figure to the people...which makes sense because he is the savior god in hindu beliefs

This is much like the story of the fall....the woman is to blame for it all...she is made out to be evil when in reality she too has been tricked but a hunch back which in those timea I imagine would represent some kind of less than human thing...she did this out of fear of what rama would do if he were to become king...she truly loves him but is scared of her fate..this is much like Christianity because it takes complete faith and her is an example of what can happen when a person loses faith...ramas banishment is a punishment much like jesus's crucifixion. ...it is happening because of a fear of loss of power.

Rama leaving the city reminds me of the moses story.

Story Telling Week One

Lucius Kwok Online image from the Fantastic Mr. Fox

Mr. Fox and the Boat

      Jonathan Fox was a silly man. He was always spending his days sleeping in, doing nothing that resembled work. To his neighbors this would have been fine should Mr. Fox not have spent his waking moments walking through their yards, playing practical jokes on each of them. Miss Pearl, that lived next door to him had grown tired of his daily attempts to sell her land that belonged to Mr. Peters, and Mr. Peters was not fond of this attempt either, since Mr. Peters lived with Miss Pearl, and did not think it prudent to by his own land from himself. Ms. Thompson the town mayor that lived across the street from Mr. Fox also did not enjoy the constant pranks she suffered at the hands of Mr. Fox. The list of people in the town of Barrymore that did like the pranks that Mr. Fox played on them grew in numbers by the day.

     Now as it has already been established Mr. Fox was a trickster type of person, but more so he was a lazy soul. Healthy and well fed the only allergy the man had was calluses on his hands. One day Mr. Fox thought it would be nice to have a boat so that he could take a nap on the lake. The only issue for Mr. Fox was that he was lazy if you remember and did not wish to build this boat himself, and this concerned Mr. Fox. So Mr. Fox thought on it and thought on it all day, for about ten minutes and he came up with a plan.

     Mr. Fox grabbed his bible and told the people the story of Noah. He told them of the flood, and how God had told Noah to build the Ark. He then told the people that God had come to him in a dream and that another flood was coming, but unlike the selfish Noah, Mr. Fox would let anyone who worked on the boat find safety when the time came. The town debated and although they did not trust Mr. Fox, they decided better safe than sorry.
 
     Work on the boat began, and Mr. Fox was deleighted because soon he would have his boat and his new place to sleep. Everyone helped, Mr. Peters cut the wood, Miss Pearl hammered nails, and Ms. Thompson painted the boat. They all worked hard, all with the exception of Mr. Fox. Mr. Fox just slept in and then danced around all day, playing pranks like hiding the saw from Mr. Peters, stealing nails from Miss Pearl, and taking the paint from Ms. Thompson. It was not long before the boat was finished, and on that day there was a ceremony to name the boat.
 
     At the ceremony the town realized that a prank may have been pulled on them by Mr. Fox. They realized this of course because Mr.Fox showed up with pillow and a blanket to take a nap in the boat. They were not upset because they felt it was better to have a boat and not need it rather than need a boat and not have it. After taking this better safe than sorry approach they decided to name the boat the S.S. Just in Case. As soon as they named the boat it began to rain.

     It rained for three days and three nights. Now the town of Barrymore was down river from the largest lake in the world, Lake Gonnagetcha. On that lake was a dam that kept the lake from flooding the town. For three days and nights the lake waters rose. The waters thrashed against the wall of the dam and on the fourth day the water began to crack the dam. In the town of Berrymore the alarms were sounded for everyone to board the boat S.S. Just in Case, for safety. Everyone showed up, Mr. Peters was there along with Miss Pearl and Miss Thompson, the entire town was on the boat except Mr. Fox because he was sleeping and showed up late. He begged the town to let him on the boat, after all it was his idea to build it. Still there was not enough room on the boat for Mr. Fox because the townspeople only built it to seat the people that worked on the boat, and Mr. Fox afterall did not help build the boat. He was too busy sleeping in, hiding saws, stealing nails, and taking paint to help. As the dam broke and the waters flooded the town Mr. Fox realized that he should have bought an alarm clock and been more prudent.

Authour's Notes
I took this from the story  The Wild Boar and the Fox. It is a story about a Fox that plays tricks on everyone and then comes across a boar sharpening his tusks. The fox sees no danger and thinks it is silly but the boar beleives it is best to be prepared. I kept that best to be prepared theme to my story but changed up the events a little, though I beleive that the reader will be able to get the same message from my story as the other stories.

Bibliography
The Aesop for Children by Aesop. 2006. web source The Project Gutenberg Ebooks

Week One Story Book Favorites

     For this post I tried to read three stories that based on their title, would give me a different option of how to put my storybook together. Each of the stories had a similar layout as far as page navigation, each one being a basic webpage with buttons on the side of the page to navigate through the storybook, and a pictures in the middles. The titles of these stories is what set them apart for me when I was searching for different stories to write about.

     The first story that caught my eye was Delilah's Radio Hour . This story put an interesting twist on the the oral storytelling tradition. In the introduction I was thrown into a radio show that had just come out of a Backstreet Boys song. The host of the show began talking about a recent listener, and the story of Rama and Sita began. In the next chapter of the storybook the story continued as if the show had just come back from commercial break and the rest of the storybook followed in that same method from chapter to chapter. I found this to be an interesting spin because the author was able to tell this story in a very unique way, by placing an epic story in the confines of a cheesy late night radio show. I found this version to be a creative way to tell an old story in an updated way.

     The next story book I read was the Nighttime Nagas. The introduction of this storybook seemed to take a historical approach to the retelling of the epics. It gave a brief description about what the stories were going to be and then jumped right in with a god telling his/hers child a bedtime story. I do feel that this introduction was more effective that the first example because it helped me know what I was about to read before I got into the story, although the first story I read was a little more entertaining in its approach, this storybook's introduction was more informational. This author was extremely effective in making the god's more relatable to human beings, thus removing their godliness and in effect making them more human.

     The third storybook I read was Hindu Goddesses: What They're all About.This storybook was similar to the second example because it used the characters of a parent reading a bedtime story to their child. The introductions of these two examples are different in that in the Nighttime Nagas the introduction took a historical approach, in this third example the introduction was much like a children's fairy tale book might start. Pandimi runs to bed and asks her mother about a goddess and her mother gives a brief introduction about the goddess and then in the next chapter the mother begins the bedtime story. This story took an interesting approach from the first two examples because the first two seemed to be written for an adult audience and this story was created for young children. This was a creative way to show that these epics are not just for adults but can be told to children as well.

Week one Introductiom

      Welcome to my page. Hello my name is Joe. The basic information about me is that I am an English writing track major at the University of Oklahoma, and some day I hope to try my hand at the law profession. I hate these introductions because I always feel like I am writing a profile for some dating website like eharmony.com only at my age my likes are waking up and oatmeal, and my dislikes are not waking up and cold coffee so for the remainder of this introduction I will try to give you guys a little my personal information that usual.
      First off I am a father of one amazing 11 year old boy named Ethan. I know this is going to sound cliche but for me my real life began the day he was born. So I guess under likes I would have to say spending time with my son. I know that most people say they have a good looking kid, but mine really is a good looking kid.

Ethan from Personal photos 2011

      Besides spending time with my kid I enjoy eating. I am a total foodie, I love trying new things I have never eaten before, and then taking friends to try the food items I have discovered. I am a Starbucks junkie, and when I say junkie I mean yes I would sell a family member for a venti Mocha. I am the type of person that if you take seriously, you will think is a person that is pompous, rude, and without social manners, but if you realize that I am joking then most likely you will just laugh at me because you know I am being stupid. I love to hear laughter from people and don't mind being the butt of a joke at all. If I had a motto for life it would be: Live Awesome.
      Living awesome encompasses so many things but mostly it means that you don't need permission from anyone to shine. When I say "I'm Awesome" and I have been saying it for years, people always look at me as if to say, "Oh really," my point in saying that I am awesome is not because I am trying to diminish anyone else but rather I am lifting myself up. I believe that everyone should think they are awesome, because it is important to tell yourself something then go out in life and live up to your words. If someone believes that it is more important to be humble then I think that is great they can have my humbleness and be humble for both of us. It is not an arrogance issue but rather I wanna live each day at one hundred percent effort so that I can squeeze every bit of good out of it, because let's face it, when it is over, it is over and this body will be thrown in the ground and turn to dust, so might as well try to succeed each and every day.

Week 1 Indian Epics

     I actually had no clue what to expect in this class, although I did assume that I would be reading and doing so writing, as far as details go I had little. After completing the assignments I now feel that though my only goal in taking this class was to fulfill a requirement for an elective credit, that this class may end up being a hidden gem in my journey though school. I'm an English-writing track student, but so far most of what I have done in college is just read other people's versions of written work and then write papers analyzing those works. I took a poetry writing class, but that experience was horrible, and there was a creative writing class and though I did enjoy the class, there was a still a very rigid structure to what I wrote in the class that made me feel boxed in, and at the end of the class I felt the stories I created were not the stories I wanted to create. I get the general feeling in this class that while there is quite a bit of work to be done daily for a online class and the schedule is structured, the actual work however seems to allow for a students creative voice to be found.
     After watching the movie I was struck with how the four voices in the story all told their individual stories while at the same time still telling the same story. The three characters that narrators worked in concert to tell the story of Sita, but each one seemed to give different information. So in reality though they seemed to have different facts, they told three different stories, but at the same time told a fourth version of the story. A sort of pass it on type of storytelling that worked to allowed for a fluid story line that as a viewer gave me the feeling that if I heard them tell the story again, though the major facts would remain the same the story would be told in a different way. Best way I could put it is sitting on a bar stool listening to three friends talk. One of them says "Remember the time Johnny broke his leg" and another one replies "Oh yeah, that time when he jumped off the cliff" and the third says, "It wasn't a cliff it was a house", though the three friends disagree about the actual event, the major fact of the story that Johnny broke his leg is something they all agree on. To take this further, sitting on that same bar stool three years later and listening to those same friends talk about the incident the fact that Johnny broke his leg will remain the same but he details of the incident may have changed again. So the story becomes like a living being continually evolving. Taking it further later that night on a bar stool two people that overheard the story the three friends told may be sitting there retelling the story about Johnny breaking his leg only their version has him jumping off a skyscraper, so the story not evolves within the original storyteller's but it can also evolve through the people that heard the story and the retell it. The animation in the movie also work as fourth narrator to the story. While the three characters are telling the story the animation also works to tell their version of the story, thus creating a fifth version of the story within in the movie. Where as the three characters in the movie could represent the three friends talking about Johnny in the example, the animation could work like the two friends that overheard the story.
     So I think this class will work something like the movie. We as students read these stories and then we create our own version of the stories, and in turn our stories will be read by the teacher and other students and while the stories are being read, the teacher and other students will act as three friends on the bar stool placing their own version of stories along side ours (since we will have all read the same stories) and our story will instantly be rewritten and be evolved. The the hope is to write a story interesting and thought provoking enough for the teacher and student to retell our story to someone who will in turn find the story interesting enough to tell it to a friend creating a story that is never fully finished and is constantly evolving into another story. It is my hope in this class to be able to have a creative outlet in which I am able to express my versions of these stories in a way that is entertaining for those who read them.

Week One Favorite Place

     I never traveled  much as a child, so when the opportunity came up for me to move to Chicago for a job I jumped right on it. When I arrived in the big city I was overwhelmed by all the noises, the traffic, and to be honest the people.  After being there for a little over a month my brother in-law caught me eating a Pizza Hut pizza, which in Chicago is blasphemous, so fearing for my own well being and safety he and my sister took me out for what they called "Real Pizza."

 Pizza Uno  in Chicago, Ill from 

Athony92931 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uno_Chicago_Grill

   

   They took me to the home of the original Chicago style pizza, although there they just call it pizza, Pizzeria Uno. The inside of the place was exactly how you would picture an stereotypical pizza joint to look, from the checkered table clothes to the family pictures on the wall, this place seemed as cheesy (if you don't mind my pun) example of a pizza place as you could find. Still there was an feeling of authenticity about this place, while all these items used to decorate the interior of this place would have seemed like a forced corporate ambiance creation in a Pizza Hut for example, in Pizzeria Uno, the items provided a genuine feeling comfortableness.  

Interior of a Pizzeria Uno from Mangnus Manske http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uno_Chicago_Grill

     If you have never been to Chicago then chances are you have no idea of what a real deep dish Chicago style pizza is, and that is a shame. Eating a Chicago pizza is something that in my view should be on everyone's bucket list. If you take the time to actually go to Chicago then you should take the opportunity to in a pizzeria and wait the forty-five minutes for your pizza to be delivered. If the wait seems too long well then just do what I did and order an ice cold beer (I had a Fat Tire beer). 

Personal Picture of Me from a trip to Chicago in 2011

     While I was waiting for the Pizza I looked around and began to notice people talking to each other. This may not seem like an uncommon observation to most people, but since I had arrived in Chicago all I had noticed was people talking at each other rather than engaging in actual conversations that help to form connections between people. Being from Oklahoma, I am used to perfect strangers smiling at you with you pass by, waving at you on the road when they see you, or having conversations with perfect stranger, yet in Chicago I had been starved of these types of interactions. It was not that people were rude, it is more that they did not have time, like they were always in a hurry. However here in the pizzeria there were conversations happening at every table, and between tables. At my table some from another table over heard my accent and asked me where I was from, when I told him I was from Oklahoma this started a series of questions from the person, which in turn allowed me to ask some questions of my own. I found out where the best place to get a hot dog was, what an Italian Beef Sandwich was, and that the person had family from Oklahoma. I did not feel so much like an outsider to Chicago. Then the pizza was delivered.  

    I still do not posses the words to properly describe a Chicago Deep Dish Pizza other than to say it is like two angels came down from heaven and blessed my taste buds. This is truly a case in which a picture is the best way to describe the Pizza.

Personal Picture of a Chicago Deep Dish from a trip to Chicago in 2011

    I have always loved food, but most importantly I have always loved the way sitting down and having a great beer and an amazing meal can bring strangers together. This is the reason why this is one of my favorite places because it was the first time I didn't miss Oklahoma in over a month.